Some time ago, I got hold of some VON material, as most people did as a result of hearing that Burzum idiot give them props back when the orgy of self-promotion was taking place in the Norway black metal scene. I wasn't impressed. At all. So here we have the big collection, the cult extravaganza, the compilation of this legendary band's volume of work, Satanic Blood Angel. Well, it isn't any better now that it was then, failing to improve with age like a fine wine. This is more like Kool-Aid left out in the sun too long. I know that this is supposed to be culter than cult, extreme to the max blackened death supreme: let me be clear; it is not. It is boring. It is one-note. It is repetitive. It is weak. In fact, it is dull. Now some ubercult underground black metal types may worship this, and they're entirely welcome to it. But hear me now: even if Von were some sort of war metal pioneers, some sort of black metal revolutionaries, their work has been bettered by almost every band to follow them. And let's also be realistic here. Blasphemy, Bestial Warlust, Beherit and others did this sort of total carnage blackdeath at roughly the same time as these dudes. Only better. So let's all take a step back, forget about posing out as the world's most underground death/black metal fan in existence, and honestly judge what this is: a bloody average piece of work that we'd all have forgotten about by now if Varg Vikernes hadn't name-checked them in interviews. Did I burst your fuckin' bad-ass bubble? GOOD! Now go listen to something that's actually worth your time. Blasphemy's FALLEN ANGEL OF DOOM pisses all over this, sets it on fire, and stomps the ashes into dust. Buy that instead. You'll thank me.
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